Have I Got Social Enterprise News For You has come under some fierce criticism in recent weeks. Not from the loyal readers, I hasten to add, but from internal sources. ‘Not very good‘ was a comment the other week from one staff member. ‘Noticeable dip in quality‘ another. This week, the SSE Twitter account tweeted that they were only ‘sometimes funny‘. Imagine that! The Twitter account that I ran for two years is now making barbed comments behind my back.
After much soul searching, some tears, and lonely hours listening to angry guitar music, I’ve decided that there’s only one thing for it. I’m going to employ the tactic used by failing Hollywood franchises, the reboot.
Ladies and gentleman, without further ado, I present to you: Have I Got Social Enterprise News For You – RELOADED.
Lights, camera, action!
Scene One – An office, London.
In the corner of a busy London office, a brooding, troubled marketing professional sits at his desk (played by Gosling? Pitt? Maybe Channing Tatum?). He seems an outsider, something of a maverick, unappreciated for all his newsletter work. “I got to get out of this place” he mutters. “But where to? I need to go somewhere where dreams come true…Birmingham. That’s where I’ll go”. With new resolve, he suavely loads up his computer and finds two new job vacancies at SSE West Midlands. (There is also a position for a PA to CEO & Office Manager at SSE London, but he’s turned his back on that.)
Scene Two – An interview room.
Our hero sits in an SSE West Midlands interview room. He’s handled the questions well. More than well.
“ David Daniel. You’ve handled the questions well. More than well” purrs the interviewer. “But we need more. We need examples of your work”. Untroubled, Daniel unrolls a manuscript. “Will this do?” he asks fearlessly, handing the interviewer 5 reasons to attend our Transition to Trading course. “Or how about this?” He unfolds a copy of this piece on the CharityJob blog, also about the Transition to Trading course. The interviewer reads it carefully before smiling. “You’ve got the job. And sign me up for that course before it’s too late”.
Scene Three – A Birmingham Street. Outside a McDonalds. (note to McDonalds executives – I sort of assumed you’d want the product placement. Please send a cheque.)
We join the scene as Daniel has just heroically prevented a bank robbery. (This bit needs some fleshing out). The thankful manager (De Niro?) hands Daniel a note, saying “Take this. It’s an opportunity that will more than repay the reward”. The note reads:
SSE Fellow Richard Leighton is working with a Birmingham-based charitable housing association to set-up a new social enterprise initiative. Richard has purchased the Adam and Eve pub in Digbeth/Birmingham City Centre and now hopes to identify a partner to operate the canteen side as he requires expertise and experience within this area. If you have a charity / social enterprise that could be interested please contact [email protected].
Daniel nods. “That does seem like a good opportunity”.
Scene Four – The same street. It’s raining now though, for a film noir like atmosphere.
Daniel’s phone buzzes. He’s received a tweet. It needs a response, and quickly. Luckily he’s read Social Media for Non Profits: High Impact Tips and the Best Free Tools. “Another problem solved”, he chuckles, arching his eyebrows knowingly. “And now it’s time for coffee”.
Scene Five – a coffee shop. It looks like the one in Friends. Playing on the tv in the background is SSE’s latest Youtube blockbuster: Tips for start ups: Simon Boyle.
Daniel is reading a copy of the Guardian. He’s already completed the crossword (in five minutes) but his eyes are drawn to an article: Guardian Charity Award winners: We’ve gained recognition and respect. He looks thoughtful. “I know that face” he exclaims. “That’s SSE Fellow Naomi Marek. Readers of Have I Got Social Enterprise News For You should apply by August 5th so they can be considered for this year’s awards”.
He walks purposefully to the counter. “I’d like a coffee with a conscience please”. The barista looks confused. “I don’t think we have one of those sir”. Daniel sighs. “Back We Walk The Line’s Crowdfunding campaign and maybe one day you can”.
The barista looks on admiringly, as Daniel strolls into the sunset.
THE END
There are some details to be ironed out before this can be released, of course. It needs funding, for starters. I’ll probably attend our Crowdfunding for Charities and Social Enterprises workshop on July 16th and explore that particular option. Other than that, look out for the film in a cinema near you soon!
What’s on at SSE
- Do YOU want to be a social entrepreneur?, SSE London, 23rd June
- Green Entrepreneurship in Action, SSE Dartington, starts 29th June
- Transition to Trading, SSE London, starts 9th July
- Crowdfunding for Charities and Social Enterprises, SSE London, 16th July
- Kickstart Your Social Media Strategy, SSE London, 18th July
- Cool 10 Environmental Entrepreneurs, SSE East, starts 30th July
